Advice for YA Readers from Award Winning YA author Joey Paul

ADVICE FOR YA READERS by Joey Paul
 
      When I saw the call go out for contributions for this kind of blog post, I knew I had to sign up because as someone who’s been writing since they were a teen, it made sense for me to pass on both my experience as a teen writer, but also as an indie author who’s got twenty books out in a variety of genres and has drafted over forty.
 
    Before I get into the advice, I should give you a little background. I’m 41, and was born and have lived my whole life in the same town in the UK. My parents split for good when I was 13, which was also the year that I lost a few people, including one of my friends from school. I went from hanging out with one group of friends, though I was always more on the edge of them, to moving across town and having to find my way with new friends. I stayed at the same secondary school, but I didn’t have people to walk to and from school with, and we moved a lot those next few years because we were living in rented places so there was always the fear I’d either have to change schools (nightmare) or would move out of reach of any friends (also a nightmare).

    As it turned out, I ended up in another friend group that contained my now best friend and we got through those days together. She and I have been friends for almost 30 years (yes I am old!) and we still live together now. She actually became my full time carer when I first got sick at 19, and later ended up needing to use a wheelchair full-time. So that’s the background out of the way, now onto the advice!
 
     My best friend and I, her name’s B, we would write stories together, but even within our small friend group, we were very much the weird ones. She was voted most likely to be on another planet in the yearbook, I can’t remember what I was voted, it’s been a fair few years, but it was probably something along the same lines. Our idea of a good Friday night was going to the local library and checking out books, which we would then devour through the week and go back again. It might sound familiar to you if you’re also a reader, which I hope you are, but my advice is simple: embrace the weird. Don’t be afraid to stand out, don’t be afraid to be who you are.
 
     I know it’s not as simple as it sounds. I know that bullies and other people want you to conform, but I have to say that while bullies were a thing, and while I was a target, I didn’t shy away from who I am, and who I was back then. If I hadn’t embraced my love of telling stories, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have written all those stories and I wouldn’t have found a career that I could achieve while being chronically ill and disabled. When I had to stop working a conventional job because of being so sick, it was writing, it was those stories that I’d started as a teen, that gave me something to cling to and something to keep me going. It sounds drastic I know, but my point is that embracing that side of myself, never being afraid to be who I am, that’s what has kept me going on even the most dark days.
 
     A few years ago, I was asked by a disability blog to write a letter to my 15 year old self, and I said things along the same lines as I’m saying here. Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves, and everyone has their own hurdles and struggles to get through, but there is always something about you that makes you who you are. For some kids it’s music, for other it’s drama, others it’s art, and others still, it’s writing or reading, or any number of things. Some kids are more academically minded, others lean more to cooking or working with their hands. None of this is a bad thing. None of this is wrong, and none of this are things to be ashamed about.
 
     Embrace your weird side, don’t be afraid of accepting that it’s part of who you are, and that while it may change and adapt as you get older, it’s okay to spend time exploring it. It’s okay to spend time having fun and being yourself. I was lucky to find B, I was lucky to have that small group of friends who did accept me, and were okay with my weirdness. I don’t remember much fondly about my school days, but I do remember the fun I had telling stories, and making friends, and being myself.
 
     So be yourself, embrace the weird, find your friends, there are always going to be others who like the same things and want to do the same things. Embrace it, accept it, and know that these days are not the only days of your life. You will get past the hard times, and you will move onto better ones.
 
    And maybe, one day, you’ll sit down and look back at that weird and realise that it’s gotten you to the point you are today. I know mine did.

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